tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-191685482024-03-14T06:54:27.455-04:00Musings with a Baby BottleJ is the gal: a writer, editor, and recuperating surgery patient/victim. D is the guy: a grad student who is in way over his head. Feel free to leave us a comment or send us an email at musingswithababybottle@yahoo.com.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-7318489535290911952011-10-06T00:31:00.006-04:002011-10-06T22:07:48.439-04:00Goodbye and Thank You Superman!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGyZWlqJD8SobPEi4vA0D5dbfL8tQV87fS91-iW-3VFDhty0NlA-z3sPOk1Y1FGBR55SAxCP6UjopDOBDIPC16bWwcIAck6YhmgqVvq6DHLk60-CLmrnXMFZs-7HXlD6_f_Jo3/s1600/images+jobs2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGyZWlqJD8SobPEi4vA0D5dbfL8tQV87fS91-iW-3VFDhty0NlA-z3sPOk1Y1FGBR55SAxCP6UjopDOBDIPC16bWwcIAck6YhmgqVvq6DHLk60-CLmrnXMFZs-7HXlD6_f_Jo3/s1600/images+jobs2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Steve Jobs 1955-2011)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Steve Jobs is gone and the world is a lonelier place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">My first computer was a Mac and until now I will never forget the pride I felt in telling everyone I owned the best computer in the world. And it was. Thanks to you, Steve Jobs.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">We will miss you, Steve, but we will always have a part of you with us through your iPads, iPhones, iPods, iTunes, and Macs. Most importantly, you will always be our hero – for setting the bar so high and yet showing us all, by example, that nothing is impossible, that the sky is there so our reach can be limitless. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">You are a genius and a visionary and we are proud to have shared the light of this world with you, even for just a brief 56 years. <br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">We will miss you tremendously. Thank you, Steve Jobs.<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaas1vnUxmVF3vS6zbLoKLpI4LlSDQQ4xqhy5KL3nHb0P9h3miKYb_wCZm7CavFA8GtZZJqG5bN_Ib2c7oCYfmP8YoDS2qUq6UbpB1jiVgWkCQUxB4-VOPkBia1X0GuDOdEkfB/s1600/images+jobs1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; height: 200px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; width: 112px;"><img border="0" height="200" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaas1vnUxmVF3vS6zbLoKLpI4LlSDQQ4xqhy5KL3nHb0P9h3miKYb_wCZm7CavFA8GtZZJqG5bN_Ib2c7oCYfmP8YoDS2qUq6UbpB1jiVgWkCQUxB4-VOPkBia1X0GuDOdEkfB/s200/images+jobs1.jpg" width="115" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #990000;"><strong>The following is Steve Jobs' outstanding commencement address at Stanford in <date day="12" month="6" year="2005">June 12, 2005:</date></strong></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">“I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">The first story is about connecting the dots.</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I dropped out of </i><place><placename><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Reed</i></placename><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i><placetype><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">College</i></placetype></place><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?</i></span><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><place><placename><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Reed</i></placename><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i><placetype><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">College</i></placetype></place><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.</i></span><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">My second story is about love and loss.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">My third story is about death.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at </i><time hour="19" minute="30"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">7:30</i></time><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.</i></span><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in </i><city><place><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Menlo Park</i></place></city><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.</i></span><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">Thank you all very much.”</span></i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>- Steve Jobs (1955-2011), Former CEO of Apple Computer and Pixar Animation Studios <br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-38291100383318001392011-09-21T10:27:00.002-04:002011-09-21T10:38:50.340-04:00Take me out to the ball game!<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaUFroWPXqm_Y3lYwB6GqVFGcYm-ghknGnpjb3oC_B7a1WvD-iADPdEkAYaM9gH5z6xfLW4xLMXk02fsuEwpB_U6TmQqNbcKNMC3fj-fKTYIWUbMxW7H2vvEMB9c4jkWgF8aeT/s1600/ortiz1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hca="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaUFroWPXqm_Y3lYwB6GqVFGcYm-ghknGnpjb3oC_B7a1WvD-iADPdEkAYaM9gH5z6xfLW4xLMXk02fsuEwpB_U6TmQqNbcKNMC3fj-fKTYIWUbMxW7H2vvEMB9c4jkWgF8aeT/s200/ortiz1.jpg" width="197" /></a>I’m a big baseball enthusiast and although I’m a die-hard NY Yankee fanatic, sometimes, being a girl, I’m thinking ‘why can’t we all just get along!’ For instance, wouldn’t it be great if we could see Big Papi of the Red Sox wearing a Yankee hard hat? That would be the beginning of world peace! Not to mention it would look kinda cute. </div><br />
JUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-88228083109747964552011-09-01T08:26:00.000-04:002011-09-01T08:26:25.217-04:00Phew! I thought we lost our blog!Hi friends, we're back! I got the scare of my life when I tried to log on here and I was re-routed to the Blogrolling site. What the heck. I cried my eyes out and did all kinds of research online. I felt like Tim Magee in NCIS doing computer forensics - whatever that means. Anyway, I guess I did well because we're back! <br />
<br />
You never know how much you love something till you almost lose it so we're here to stay. I'll be posting again (I hope, I hope) in between, of course, watching the NY Yankees with my Sweetie D via my MLB package. Love those Yankees! Love my D more! Which reminds me, gotta go watch the replay of this evening's game. Talk to you guys later! Man, how I missed this.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1138037917054175712006-01-23T12:35:00.000-05:002006-01-23T23:08:49.580-05:00Trivial Pursuits<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/did%20you%20know.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left;" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/did%20you%20know.0.jpg" border="0" /></a> I just got an email from a girl named Janice asking me if I knew of any “trivia” or one of those little-known facts about some well-known entertainers. <em>(Psst, Janice? Next time you want to ask something, do it as a comment, okay? You know how finding comments on our blog makes my head spin with joy. *wink*)<br /></em><br />Well, Janice, at the risk of making our blog appear like an entertainment blog, I am going to share with you some little-known facts or trivia about our worshipped idols which I’ve come across from reading old fan magazines. There aren’t very many, actually, but here are some of them:<br /><br />* Did you know that Michael Keaton’s real name is Michael Douglas but he can’t use it for obvious reasons?<br /><br />* Did you know that Michael J. Fox auditioned for a role in one of Robert Redford’s movies and when Redford saw how short he was, he threw a fit and, worse, threw Michael out?<br /><br />* Did you know that Mel Gibson was not born in Australia but in New York? His father brought his entire family to Australia to dodge the draft in the 70s.<br /><br />* Did you know that there were originally five members of The Beatles but the fifth one, Stu Sutcliffe, died of brain hemorrhage?<br /><br />* Did you know that in England a fag is a cigarette so when you say you’re sucking the butt of a fag, it simply means you’re smoking a cigarette? <em>(Say what?)<br /></em><br />Sorry about that last one. It’s simply my way of saying “I’ve run out of trivia, Janice!”<br /><br />But thanks for emailing our site, anyway. And do come back soon. TTFN!<br /><br />J<div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks81BorderDiv8011"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks52BorderDiv9043"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks99BorderDiv7793"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks94BorderDiv6658"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1137616936705628642006-01-18T15:36:00.000-05:002006-01-18T17:00:07.850-05:00For JDear J,<br /><br />I love you.<br /><br />I know the wonderful people visiting our humble site likely will have no interest in this post and may even be turned off by it. I sincerely hope that that is not the case, but irrespective, I love you sweetheart and want to shout it out.<br /><br />DUnknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1137440300084328262006-01-16T14:27:00.000-05:002006-01-18T01:41:44.346-05:002005 — The Year of Famous Breakups<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/divorce.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right;" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/divorce.0.jpg" border="0" height="189" width="292" /></a> <span style="font-size:85%;">The year 2005 has come and gone and, sad to say, so has the husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover of many a famous Hollywood celebrity. While we are not exactly aiming to make our blog The Blog of Lists <em>(Get it? As in </em><a href="http://www.twbookmark.com/books/1/0316920797/"><em>Book of Lists</em></a><em>, the bestselling compilation of odd facts and trivial information released some years back? You don’t? Ok, never mind)</em>, I have decided to go on with what D had started in his last post listing Hollywood actors/actresses arrested the past year. This time, however, I am listing the Hollywood couples who, for some reason or another have decided to ‘uncouple’ the past year. </span><p><span style="font-size:85%;">The reason I chose this list is, well, in a small measure because, as a woman, I sympathize with any poor soul who has to go through the pain and loneliness of a break-up. But in most part, I chose this list because, as a woman, gossip about well-known personalities simply intrigues me! He-he-he.<br /><br />If my list is not complete, well maybe whoever is not included is not that popular anyway. In which case, it would be a good thing not to publicize their breakups. That way, if they decide to get back together, no sweat! Nobody knew they were together in the first place, right?<br /><br /><strong>So here goes, drum roll, please. . . . The Hollywood couples who split-up in 2005 are:<br /><br /></strong>* Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston — Talk about starting the year with a bang, they announced their split-up on Jan 8 after 5 years of marriage. Brad parries rumors of a relationship with Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star Angelina Jolie. Jennifer keeps silent but suddenly decides to help Vanity Fair sell an issue by giving a no-holds-barred interview in September and then KAPOW! By October 5, their divorce becomes final.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards — 7-month pregnant Richards kicks out her husband Charlie and files a divorce in March citing irreconcilable differences as the reason. Why she chose to marry this guy who is known to have such a taste for prostitutes is beyond me. And to think she is pregnant with their second child! Oh well.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey — Just a few days before Thanksgiving this 3-year-old MTV couple decided to call it quits after some “careful thought and consideration.” Wonder who took charge of the thinking and who did the considering?</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Renee Zellweger & Kenny Chesney — The Bridget Jones Diary star decided 5 months was too long to stay married to her country singer husband and in Sept filed an annulment citing “fraud” as the reason. Then she issued a statement asking people to refrain"from drawing derogatory, hurtful, sensationalized or untrue conclusions" about her ex. Duh!</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Eddie Murphy & Nicole Murphy — Married since 1993, this couple divorced in July stating they were concerned about the welfare of their five children. Hmm. Or maybe it was Eddie's alleged concern for transvestites, whatever.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Katie Holmes & Chris Klein — This Katie is one busy miss! After breaking off her engagement with Klein in March, she is again engaged in June to Tom Cruise and by August is pregnant with his child! Now that’s a girl who doesn’t waste any time. But then again for an alleged seven figures, I'd marry Tom and pretend to have his baby too.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Jude Law & Sienna Miller — Their engagement went pfffft when a British tabloid published a story in July about Jude’s affair with his kids’ nanny. Almost immediately, he issued a public apology to Miller for his ‘indiscretion.’ What a wanker! </span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Chad Michael Murray & Sophia Bush — Now, here’s another one of those less-than-six-month marriages. These One Tree Hill co-stars split in September, just five months after they got married. Guess no one warned these kids about marrying your co-star. Next season, you could be paired off with another actor/actress. What then, huh?</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Paris Hilton & Paris Latsis — In September, Paris the rich girl called off her engagement to Paris the rich boy saying she wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Well, no one really believed this union would last anyway. Paris, Paris, c’mon! Maybe Tokyo, Tokyo or New York, New York. <em>(Did I really say that?)</em></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Leonardo DiCaprio & Gisele Bundchen — Hollywood heartthrob Leo was dumped by this sexy catwalk beauty after a tempestuous 4-year relationship for one important reason – his excessive partying and flirting with his and other actors’ <a href="http://brtrends.blogspot.com/2005/11/leonardo-dicaprio-gisele-bundchen.html">ex-girlfriends</a>.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Nicole Richie & Adam "D.J. AM" Goldstein — Mutually agreed to call off their nine-month engagement without citing any reasons. Who knows with these young couples. Some say it had to do with AM eating too much and Nicole hardly eating at all.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Mischa Barton & Brandon Davis — The O.C. star has decided to end her one-year relationship with the billionaire heir as early as February last year. Wonder how it feels like to dump a billionaire boyfriend? </span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Valerie Bertinelli & Eddie Van Halen — Now, this is really sad. After 24 years of being married and bringing up a son together, Touched By An Angel actress Valerie Bertinelli and her alcoholic-rocker husband Eddie Van Halen are calling it quits. Maybe now she is touched by boredom! Ho-hum.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Shannon Elizabeth & Joseph Reitman </span><span style="font-size:85%;">— </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Shannon filed for divorce from Joseph citing irreconcilable differences. I would say something humorous but I can't compete with the incomparable <a href="http://www.proteinwisdom.com/index.php/weblog/entry/shannon_elizabeth_comments_on_her_pending_divorce_and_the_hezbollah_orchest/">Protein Wisdom</a>.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Jenny McCarthy & John Asher </span><span style="font-size:85%;">— </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Fomer playmate of the year and perenially struggling actress Jenny filed for divorce from her director husband citing irreconcilable differences. Rumor has it John was fed up with Jenny's penchant for appearing nude in movies. What husband wouldn't want his wife bearing it all for every horny teenager and the rest of the world to see?<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Tori Spelling & Charlie Shanian — Former Beverly Hills, 90210 star Tori Spelling has split from her actor-writer husband Charlie Shanian after 15 months of marriage. 15 months or 50 years, I’m sure it hurts just the same! </span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Christina Applegate & Johnathon Schaech — Just before Christmas, Christina Applegate and her husband, Johnathon Schaech, called it quits after four years of marriage. Their publicists said it was a mutual decision. Sure, sure!<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Jamie Lynn DiScala & A.J. DiScala — Sopranos daughter Jamie-Lynn DiScala and her husband-manager, A.J. DiScala, have split up after two years of marriage. But there’s a hopeful note, A.J. DiScala claims it’s “just a separation and anything is possible including a reconciliation.” We hope his wife feels the same way.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">* Gabrielle Union & Chris Howard — The sexy star of Bad Boys II decided to call it quits with her husband of 4 ½ years last November. They have no children and no new movies to speak about. So why are they in my list? @##$<br /><br />Enough of these split-ups! It’s a new year. Stay connected, okay!</span></p><p><span style="font-size:85%;">J</span></p><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks93BorderDiv8099"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks86BorderDiv5742"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks49BorderDiv7049"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks43BorderDiv8239"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1137022552483598072006-01-11T18:35:00.000-05:002006-01-17T23:26:24.423-05:00Actors/Actresses Arrested in 2005<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/arrested.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/200/arrested.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I could say something erudite about how this isn’t really a superficial exercise, but rather a reflection on the inappropriate and counter-productive amount of respect we accord celebrities: yada yada yada. Maybe it's just cool that so many actors/actresses get busted so we can laugh at their distress and feel better about ourselves (or something like that).<br /><div align="left"><br />Feel free to let us know of any oversights. There’s probably a PhD candidate somewhere who is breaking his parent’s hearts and bank account that needs a thorough list.<br /><br /><em style="font-weight: bold;">......................................The LIST.......................................</em><br /></div><br />* Brancato Jr., Lillo: Heroin, burglary, involved in murder of a policeman, others. Got his break in the Robert De Niro-directed film "A Bronx Tale'' in 1993 and played doomed mob wannabe Matt Bevilacqua during the 1999-2000 season of "The Sopranos." He was really good in "The Sopranos." What a colossal fall!<br /><br />* Brown, Bobby: Failure to pay child support. “Being Bobby Brown.” Yea, he’s not really an actor, but his show is the best on TV. Given all his past transgressions, 2005 was actually a pretty good year for Mr. Brown.<br /><br />* Carey, Alison: Prostitution. This is Mariah Carey’s sister. She is not an actor, but damn, this is Mariah’s sister.<br /><br />* Carter, Nick. DUI. Also he allegedly maybe possible smacked around Paris. Is he an actor? He’s probably been in something. Who cares. Any pussy who smacks a chick (allegedly) should get all the bad publicity he deserves.<br /><br />* Channing, Stockard: DUI. “The West Wing,” “Grease.” She'll always be Rizzo to me.<br /><br />* Cook, Jason: Possession of drug paraphernalia (marijuana pipe), public intoxication. “Days of Our Lives.” I thought this sort of behavior was expected of soap stars.<br /><br />* Cosby, Bill: Sexual assault. "The Cosby Show." No criminal charges (only civil) were filed, but there have been several women who have made similar claims. Sorry pudding-man, when there is smoke, there is usually fire.<br /><br />* Crowe, Russell: Assault, possession of a weapon. “Gladiator”, “Cinderalla Man.” I suppose a phone can be considered a weapon. You ever drunk dialed anyone?<br /><br />* Gamba, Danielle: Disorderly conduct on a plane. She is not technically an actress, but she was in Playboy, so it’s just a matter of time before she is on Cinemax. Besides, she is really cute.<br /><br />* Hatch, Richard: Tax evasion. First season “Survivor” winner. He may not technically be an actor but he has appeared as himself in a few shows. I suspect that this is not the last we'll be hearing from dear-old-angry-naked Richard.<br /><br />* Houston, Whitney: Possession of drugs. “The Bodyguard.” Given all her abuses, she has done a fantastic job of staying out of the clutches of the law. I hope her children don't end up like the Ozzbourne's pharmaceutical-abusing spawn.<br /><br />* Kasch, Cody: Possession of marijuana. “Desperate Houswives.” Never heard of him. Never seen the show. But he is only a teenager, so not really that big of a deal. Then again the Different Strokes kids were once only teenagers too.<br /><br />* Klein, Chris: DUI, being a schmuck. “American Pie.” He should have been arrested for some of his brain-dead comments concerning women and his relationships with them. I guess we shouldn't really be surpised that his ex Katie Holmes ended up (for now at least) with the ultimate freak of them all since she stayed with this pencil-eraser for five years.<br /><br />* Langham, Chris: Internet child pornography. Appeared in BBC show “The Thick of It.” Ain't nothing funny about child porn. They're gonna love his ass in prison.<br /><br />* Love, Courtney: Possession of Drugs. “The People vs. Larry Flynt.” One of the most troubled stars of them all. Her behavior at the Pamela Anderson roast was both uncomfortable and hysterical.<br /><br />* Minter, Carrie: She was with Danielle Gamba on the plane. Also in Playboy. Same rationale.<br /><br />* Paul, Alexandra: Failure to obey police officer. “Baywatch.” Not really sure why she was ever cast on Baywatch - a show that did more to exploit cuvy women than perhaps any other. I guess the producers (Hasselhoff?) dedcided that "something-for-everyone" was a good approach.<br /><br />* Patric, Jason: Public intoxication. “Speed 2,” “The Alamo.” Speed 2 sucked, although the ship's perforation of the dock was cool.<br /><br />* Payne, Bruce: Threatening behavior on a plane. “Passenger 57.” Don't really know who he is, but the claims are that he was also intoxicated. Next time I fly, I'm gonna get drunk at the airport before takeoff. You're not a real man until you get drunk at an aiport bar.<br /><br />* Qui, Yuen: Illegal gambling. “Kung Fu Hustle,” “The Man With the Golden Gun.” Classic bond is still the best bond.<br /><br />* Renfro, Brad: Heroin. Appeared in such films as “The Client”, “Apt Pupil” and “Ghost World.” When you get arrested on skid row in a police sting, you know things are desperate.<br /><br />* Rhys-Meyers, Johnathon: Assault, possession of marijuana. "Bend it Like Beckham," "Match Point." The assault was for hitting his teenage girlfriend. Lock him up.<br /><br />* Rodriguez, Michelle: DUI. “Lost.” The best part of this was she pulled a "do you know who I am" delusion.<br /><br />* Sizemore, Tom: Possession of drugs, domestic violence. “Saving Private Ryan,” “Black Hawk Down.” His rap sheet is longer than this list, but he still gets acting jobs up the wazoo. It's good to be an actor.<br /><br />* Slater, Christian: Sexual misconduct. “Windtalkers,” “Hollow Man” and a whole mess of other lousy movies. Although check out “Who is Cletis Tout” for a fun, under the radar movie that has a super hot Portia de Rossi.<br /><br />* Sheen, Martin: Protesting without a permit (or something like that). “The West Wing.” The "West Wing" was excellent, then it was bad, then it was good, now I don't really care if it's even still on.<br /><br />* Tucker, Chris: Speeding, eluding police. “Rush Hour.” I think he is the last person in the US who still believes Michael Jackson is innocent.<br /><br />* Watros, Cynthia: DUI. “Lost.” Has this entire cast been arrested now?<div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks14BorderDiv3585"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks99BorderDiv6597"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks70BorderDiv6746"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks86BorderDiv8155"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks66BorderDiv3413"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks93BorderDiv3934"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks80BorderDiv3868"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks9BorderDiv6139"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1136684037354285752006-01-07T20:33:00.001-05:002006-01-10T14:49:10.763-05:00The Superficial Continued: Two MORE cents on Brad, Jennifer and AngelinaAs a follow-up to D’s post below, let me state that I think it’s insensitive for a man to flaunt his new relationship just a few months after he breaks up with his wife. That SIXTY page spread in ‘W’ Magazine was totally crass. It’s all about respect. People don’t always have to agree, they just have to respect one another.<br /><br />Brad Pitt is entitled to leave Jennifer if he chooses and maybe Jennifer was wrong in prioritizing her career over children, but was that really enough reason for Brad to completely abandon her? Didn’t she see him through the times he himself was still trying to establish himself as a serious actor and after Gwyneth Paltrow had unceremoniously dumped him?<br /><br />But more to the point, Angelina Jolie is a world-class beauty and indeed one of the sexiest women in the planet. But I personally believe that the fact she’s into children and foreign adoption much like Mia Farrow was in the 70s has very little to do with Brad Pitt being so smitten with her. I think it’s part of the package. As Angelina herself has said in several interviews, “The next man I fall in love with must understand what I’m into and must share the same beliefs I have.” She has also stated that she is not necessarily a “one-woman” man and that she enjoys multiple partners including women – not exactly the confession of someone soon to be domesticated and faithful.<br /><br />Brad has long professed to be a family-centric man who is keenly interested in a simple, family oriented life. Yet here he is sacrificing that very thing to follow Angelina around the world. So, in my opinion, it could be poisonous snakes or deadly piranhas, whatever! If adopting her foreign kids (mind you, these are not her biological offspring) is what it takes, then so be it! With a face and body like that I’m sure any hot-blooded man would be out there risking life and limb to get on her good side. Sure, Brad Pitt is not chopped liver himself but c’mon, everybody knows who’s calling the shots in this relationship. He tags along wherever she goes and does what she does. Do you need a better picture?<br /><br />I am not faulting Brad for wanting to start a family although, honestly 40 is not old by any standards (Michael Douglas at 106 or something like that just had a baby, remember?) What is disappointing to me is his lack of sensitivity in showing off his new relationship. Maybe it goes with his job, the fact that his life is so open to everyone’s scrutiny, but bottom line is, we are all humans living in a society of fellow humans. What distinguishes us from the animal kingdom is we respect one another’s feelings, especially those of people who once meant something to us.<br /><br />As I said before, he in entitled, to leave, but he didn’t need to do it so insensitively.<br /><br />JUnknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1136618642281918872006-01-07T02:10:00.000-05:002006-01-07T22:20:43.386-05:00Making the Superficial Substantive: Two Cents on Brad, Jennifer and AngelinaJ and I were discussing the Jennifer Aniston – Brad Pitt <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2005-08-22-aniston-pitt-divorce_x.htm">breakup</a>. Yes, occasionally we wade (neck deep) into the superficial. She sided with Jennifer Aniston, citing Pitt’s apparent overbearing <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/08/02/earlyshow/leisure/celebspot/main713362.shtml">insensitivity</a> to their current situation – the almost flaunting of his current relationship with Angelina Jolie. She pontificated that anyone who could be this seemingly overtly insensitive was certainly capable of similarly “unloving” behavior during their marriage.<br /><br />I respectfully disagree. I think that – despite protestations to the contrary – the breakup was more the result of Jennifer’s reneging on her commitment to have children. Yes, Angelina may be the <a href="http://www.absolutely.net/jolie/">sexiest</a> woman on the planet, but it is probably not a coincidence that she is also someone that has warmly embraced children into her life. And we have all seen the pictures of Brad lovingly playing with and caring for Angelina’s children and his subsequent legal <a href="http://www.hollywoodrag.com/index.php?/weblog/brad_pitt_adopts_angelina_jolies_kids/">adoption</a> of those children. And now there are incessant rumors that she is already <a href="http://news.softpedia.com/news/Angelina-Jolie-pregnant-with-Brad-Pitt-3874.shtml">pregnant</a> with his child.<br /><br />So my friends, was Brad wrong to leave his wife? He is forty years old and has long admitted his desire to start a family. Jennifer may have made a choice: an acting career over a family and past promises to her husband. If that is the case, she is not a victim to Brad’s “insensitivity.” He is in fact victim to her selfishness and unfulfilled promises.<br /><br />DUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1136224520841791192006-01-05T12:54:00.000-05:002006-01-17T12:13:19.283-05:00Mommy Dearest<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/names%202.1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/400/names%202.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Dear J & D,<br /><br />My mother calls me pet names in public. I'm her 'little dinky doo.' That was fine when I was a child, but now I am 26. How I do get her to stop this without hurting her feelings?<br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Too Old for Pet Names<br /><br /><br />Dear Too Old for Pet Names,<br /><br />I know how embarrassing that is especially when you’re in a busy supermarket, lining up at the cash register and your mom turns to you and says, “Did you get the cheese, dinky doo?”<br /><br />There’s something sweet about parents not realizing their kids are grown up. I’ve learned to just ignore it. Even D doesn’t mind being called his mom’s ‘love muffin.’ However, because you seem to feel strongly about this, let me give you 3 suggestions on how to deal with dear old mom.<br /><br />When she starts calling you pet names, turn to her and in the same tone of voice start calling her 'momsie', 'momoo', 'mommykins', 'momsie poo' or whatever sickeningly saccharine pet names you can come up with! One of three things will result from this: 1) she can enjoy it; 2) she can get embarrassed and finally get your point; OR 3) the two of you can totally freak out all the other shoppers and get arrested in a public scandal which will land you on the Jerry Springer show and get you 15 minutes of fame, you Paris Hilton-wanna-be.<br /><br />Another tact would be to sit dear old mom down in her favorite armchair, look her straight in the eyes, and tell her, even beg her if you have to, to please, please, please stop calling you pet names in public because it’s embarrassing the hell out of you! After the initial shock, what you’re saying will slowly sink in and again, one of three things will happen: 1) she can agree; 2) she can give you the cold shoulder; OR 3) she can call up her lawyer and cut your ungrateful ass off and remove you from her will. After all, she carried you for 9 months, and giving birth to someone with a head the size of a watermelon was not a freaking picnic. For god sakes, she was in labor for 2 ½ days. And thanks to you her breasts now look like tennis balls in plastic bags. Considering this, being called her 'little foofoo' is a bargain.<br /><br />And of course the third thing you can do, and I highly recommend this, is to just smile and ignore it when dear old mom starts calling you 'dinky doo' or 'babesy whoo'. It’s her pet name for you and it should make you happy that she loves you enough to give you a pet name. No need to be embarrassed by it! Unless of course the names she calls you are something like 'stinky toes', 'tub-o-lard-o', 'my little “accident”', 'abortion-shoulda-had', or 'don’t know who your daddy is.'<br /><br />So what’s our advice to you? Don’t sweat it! Let things be. If it makes dear old momsie happy to call you pet names in public, then let her! Just go shopping with her and charge everything to her credit card! That’s what 'little dinky doos' do anyway.<br /><br />J & DUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1136364488156425392006-01-04T03:44:00.000-05:002006-01-07T02:58:20.400-05:00Doing the J-aywalk J-iggy!<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/1298758075.0.jpg"><span style="font-size:85%;"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/1298758075.0.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 103px; HEIGHT: 106px" height="170" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/1298758075.jpg" width="214" border="0" />I just returned from blog-hopping to some of my favorite sites. Les Becker’s post on how she managed to get away with jaywalking immediately reminded me of another funny encounter I’ve had with the nice people in this little tiny Asian country I am currently having an extended holiday in.<br /><br />Jaywalking. Yes, it had to do with jaywalking. I remember waiting for my cousin in her parked car and watching this young man getting arrested for jaywalking. The irate policeman (All policemen in this country seem irate. It must be the humid weather.) was giving the young man a piece of his mind, yelling and screaming at him about how he should have read the sign that said ‘No jaywalking’ and going on and on about how this country would be a better place if people just learned to follow basic rules of discipline. He then goes on to present to the poor guy his options. One, he can opt to pay the fine of P100 or, and this is the interesting part, he can go scot-free provided he stands in the corner and sings the national anthem for all pedestrians to hear. Unfazed and even a little glad that he had a way out of paying the steep fine, he chose the latter but requested that he be allowed to choose his own song. Since it was Christmas and people were generally in a good mood, the policeman agreed and the young man proceeded to take his place near the busy intersection.<br /><br />In less than a second, without need for any prompting from the policeman, the young man starts gyrating ala Ricky Martin (Menudo is big in this part of Asia) and starts belting out (like someone having a root canal) his very own weird version of “Living La Vida Loca” complete with his own lyrics! Everyone, including myself sitting quietly inside my cousin’s car, is startled by the sudden onslaught of this man’s singing! By the time my cousin returned to her car, a slight commotion had erupted and an amused crowd had gathered round this Ricky Martin clone, laughing and clapping along with him while the enraged policeman kept blowing his whistle demanding that he stop this racket immediately!<br /><br />Speaking in their native tongue, I couldn’t get what the policeman was saying so I asked my cousin and she told me, he was screaming swear words and saying stuff like “I’m gonna throw you in jail if you don’t stop this instant,” and “Stop or I’ll shoot you! You’re worse than a terrorist with that voice of yours!”<br /><br />Well, the young man did stop, but only after he had completed the song. He even took a bow and blew kisses while people applauded in jest! And the traffic policeman? He was as red as a tomato and fuming mad. But it was Christmas so he let him go but not without a warning. As loosely translated by my cousin, he told the young man, “NEVER PASS BY THIS STREET AGAIN OR I’LL DOUBLE YOUR FINE AND THROW YOU IN JAIL WHETHER OR NOT YOU VIOLATE A TRAFFIC RULE!”<br /><br />Well, that should teach "him" a lesson! But who, the cop or the reprobate? In this case, I’m not exactly sure. Like I said before, life in these islands is always interesting.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;">J</span> <div id="Clipmarks69BorderDiv7680" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute"></div><div id="Clipmarks4BorderDiv5573" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute"></div><div id="Clipmarks64BorderDiv6860" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute; HEIGHT: 0px"></div><div id="Clipmarks14BorderDiv6434" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute; HEIGHT: 0px"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1136166010508750112006-01-01T20:37:00.000-05:002006-01-17T02:39:52.930-05:00You Should Really Be Yelling at J<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/Picture%20010.2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left;" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/400/Picture%20010.jpg" border="0" /></a>Dear D,<br /><br />Where are you? You and J built up a nice little blog, and then like a moron you stopped writing and saw your readership drop off. Is it fair that you left J to do all the work? What kind of man are you anyway?<br /><br />Antoinette<br /><br /><br />Dear Antoinette:<br /><br />Are you French? Antoinette is a French name. Just like the French to always start trouble yet offer no solution to the problem. I was traveling in San Diego. See the picture of the panda? I took that (with a camera.)<br /><br />Is it really necessary to call me a moron? I am saddened by the (temporary) decline in readership, but people do get busy during the holidays. I bet you traveled to France too more easily make fun of Americans and eat cheese? When you eat cheese do you rest it on your big French belly like the panda with his tasty leaves and shoots?<br /><br />You ask if I am a man. I never claimed to be a man. But J thinks I am a man. Know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.<br /><br />Anyway, it’s good to be back and J & I promise to be more diligent with the posting. By the way, why didn’t J post more? You should be yelling at her.<br /><br />Happy Holidays,<br /><br />DUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1135709917701472212005-12-31T13:57:00.000-05:002005-12-27T14:01:35.333-05:00If you blog 'em they will come!We’re back! Sorry for the long silence. Just got caught up in the holidays and couldn’t find the time to sit down and write. But we’re back now and, hopefully, we haven’t completely lost the friends who come to visit us every now and then. Gosh, I never knew it was this demanding to maintain a blog….but it’s fun though and I’d never give up on it no matter how busy things may get. <br /><br />So how is everyone? I’m trying to entertain myself here cause D is still away on a holiday somewhere and I was specifically tasked to make sure that things go along smoothly on our blog. Too bad I can’t add a chatroom window on here. Wouldn’t it be great if I could chat directly with our buddies who drop by? I’m sure Les would be fun to chat with. Loulou would be hilarious and Mr. Dinkle? Well, he’d be like Confucius giving out words of wisdom, I’m sure. Oh well, but this is a blog, not a paid website as D would remind me every now and then. It just seems so lonely sometimes without anyone to chat with!<br /><br />Speaking of D, I wonder if he’s gone to see King Kong already. He likes monkeys (hopefully that’s why he calls me his monkeybutt), but I don’t. They remind me too much of humans (not that I hate humans being one myself). Besides it seems not a lot of people are excited to see this film anyway. Or am I wrong? You know what I think it is? I think most people have had enough of movies that boast of nothing but special effects. I think TV has over-discussed what goes on with these special effects thus taking away the mystery and fun of it all. It was quite exciting with Godzilla, Star Wars, even Forrest Gump. But now everyone knows about the blue screen, the hydrolics, the prosthesis. Sometimes when you discuss a thing too much, it loses its luster. Imagine if David Copperfield discussed on TV how he does his magic, then no one would go watch his performances anymore, right? <br /><br />For those who are big King Kong fans, don’t mind me. I’m just rambling on. Truth is, I’m so excited to be back I don’t exactly know what to talk about. But I’ll get to it. Meanwhile, let me, on behalf of my sweetie D, greet you all a happy new year. And to those who left comments on my Christmas song post (thank God they were mostly nice…see what Christmas can do to people?) thank you, thank you so much for your kind words! Good thing Simon Cowell is not a blogger. Don’t worry, folks, I’m not about to record another song. Why not? Cause I plan to leave that Christmas song posted on here the entire year! JOKING! Oh well, guess this post has to end without me actually talking about anything. That’s okay since anyway all I really wanted to say was: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!<br /><br />JUnknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134723437636690052005-12-30T03:57:00.000-05:002005-12-21T00:52:48.090-05:00A Holiday Song By J for You<div class="audblog"><a href="http://www.audioblogger.com/media/94214/282539.mp3" class="audLink"><img src="http://www.audioblogger.com/media/images/audioblogger.gif" class="audImg" alt="this is an audio post - click to play" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Happy holidays to all our wonderful visitors! May the new year bring peace, joy and prosperity to all.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1135066318871361132005-12-20T03:02:00.000-05:002005-12-21T00:59:54.213-05:00Let's Take the A Train. NOT!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/derail.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/derail.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Dear G. Pataki,<br /><br />My girlfriend J, who is very pretty (she told me so), says that there cannot be a transit strike because this is the shopping season and people need to be able to shop for Christmas (even though she will soon be Jewish). Also, people and even Muslims need to be able to get to see the magical Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. So please your “g”ness, rock solid and put an end to this uncalled for strike.<br /><br />Thanks, and as always, stay kosher,<br /><br />D<br /><br />P.S. You and the city have a contingency plan like I have a vagina.<br /><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks56BorderDiv8140"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks22BorderDiv6224"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks82BorderDiv3429"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks81BorderDiv4070"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks57BorderDiv5233"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks90BorderDiv8864"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks83BorderDiv7511"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks57BorderDiv3759"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134201632345017562005-12-17T02:59:00.000-05:002005-12-20T22:19:04.920-05:00I Expect Flowers Too<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/mcp.2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/mcp.2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Dear D,<br /><o:p></o:p><br />I am a female and would like to get a male’s opinion on this: should a girl offer to pay for dinner on a first date?<br /><br /> <p class="MsoNormal">Deloris<br /><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Dear Deloris,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I like to go to a girl’s apartment on a first date.<span style=""> </span>I find it very comfortable and it gives me a chance to see if she is tidy, which is a big turn on for me.<span style=""> </span>So to answer your question, of course she should pay for the dinner, after all she is the one who had to do the shopping and the cooking.<span style=""> </span>It is rather presumptuous to assume that I am going pay for her groceries on a first date.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">She should also pay for my gas.<span style=""> </span>After all, I am driving to her, and have you seen the price of gas lately.<o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I also think she should reimburse me for any ancillary costs I incur for the date: like condoms.<span style=""> </span>Why in the world should I have to pay for condoms when she is the one who will be receiving the majority of the pleasure?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Finally, I expect some sort of parting gift for the date, perhaps a shirt or tie.<span style=""> </span>That is not too much to ask for, is it?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So to answer your question again, yes, the girl should not only offer to pay for the date, she should.<o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">D<o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">P.S. Just kidding, I only expect her to pay for the condoms.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134752977080919602005-12-16T12:07:00.000-05:002005-12-16T22:15:39.046-05:00Going Down - Not Unless You Buy Me Dinner First<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/elevator.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 197px; height: 263px;" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/elevator.jpg" border="0" /></a> Life in these islands can be surreal – at times weirdly funny; at other times just a wee bit out-of-this-world. It has its rewards though especially for someone like me who suddenly found herself in an extended holiday in this exotic country. You see, I came here to the Philippines to visit an ailing aunt who, sadly, eventually passed away. Excited to see my cousins and trying in my own way to help my uncle get over the loss, I ended up staying for over two months. Then one thing led to another and I started developing severe stomach cramps. I was told I needed to undergo gall bladder surgery; so I did. Unfortunately, an unexpected thing happened during my surgey and in the height of all the tension, my surgeon accidentally sliced my bile duct. Zoom in to the present time and I’m still here, almost 5 months since I first came, trying to heal my wounds as quickly as humanly possible.<br /><br />Don’t take me wrong though, I am not complaining. It’s true, I plan to sue the living daylights out of that stupid surgeon but as to my recovery, I can’t complain. My relatives are treating me like a real princess.<br /><br />Hey, but this is not what this post is all about. It’s about funny things I’ve encountered so far in my interactions with people from here. Take for instance that one time I went to have my passport validated at the Canadian embassy. I was standing at the rearmost part of a ‘talking’ elevator in one of the more modern buildings in the city when, after listening to the elevator saying over and over, “You are now on the 29th floor. The door is about to close. You are now on the 30th floor. The door is about to close,” a young girl near the elevator door suddenly blurts out,”Mom, doesn’t that woman ever get tired of saying the same thing over and over?” Seemingly irked at her daughter’s rather stupid question, the woman answers in a voice loud enough for all of us passengers to hear, “How in heaven’s name can she get tired when . . .she’s getting paid to do that!”<br /><br />Say what? Of course, I didn’t laugh! I didn’t smile either in case they start thinking I was laughing at them. But I immediately knew then as I positively know now — life in these islands is gonna be one interesting, side-splitting heck of a ride!<br /><br />J<div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks45BorderDiv3360"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks40BorderDiv8783"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks70BorderDiv5052"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks32BorderDiv4263"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134539891893098402005-12-14T00:47:00.000-05:002005-12-16T02:59:55.356-05:00You Got Chocolate on My Condom. . . No, You Got Condom on My Chocolate!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/condom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/condom.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I just finished watching an old episode of Seinfeld and it was hilarious. It’s about Jerry getting upset over finding a tube of fungicide in his girlfriend’s medicine cabinet. The reason: Ellen, who’s dating a podiatrist, warned him that a tube of fungicide in one’s bathroom meant Athlete’s foot! Of course, it turns out the ointment was for the girl’s cat.<br /><br />But honestly, when you think about it, how many times have we actually let strangers (okay, we call them guests) walk into our bathrooms without making sure that the bathroom is clean enough or tidy enough not to expose things that give away some little secret about us. Think about it!<br /><br />I should know, I had a similar thing happen to me. No, actually, to my cousin. Luckily, we were the 'unravelers' not the 'unravelees' of some dark hidden secret of a most unlikely couple. Ok, here's what happened. Cousin and I were invited for tea by her co-workers - a well-heeled, highly respected middle-aged couple who were both teachers in the school my cousin worked in. Just as we were about to sit down for tea, my cousin realized she needed to wash her hands. She came out a few minutes after with a weird expression on her face. It didn't need much prodding from me (it never does, if you knew my cousin) for her to blurt out, later that day, what she saw in the bathroom. The ugly truth: there was a giant-sized box of chocolate-flavored condoms on the shelf above the toilet! Excitedly she squealed, "Who would have known those two could be soooooo naughty, huh? Not to mention, a little kinky for their age, huh?!"<br /><br />“How do you know those belong to them?” I asked. “Well, they also had chocolate flavored douche and some chocolate-flavored spray-on that read ‘for the added tingle,’” she insisted. I asked if that was all she saw. "There were also 6 boxes of Preparation H,” She said. “Don't tell me even those were chocolate-flavored!” I screamed. "Who are these people, Mr. and Mrs. Willie Wonka!" “Relax,” she said, “Preparation H was regular, classic sort. No flavor. Poor Harry must be having problems with his you-know-what.”<br /><br />So, ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.<br /><br />Next time you invite guests over, it might be a good idea if you gave your bathroom a once-over. Just to make sure the coast is clear. After all, you wouldn't want all those hidden secrets about you opened up for public consumption, do you? Me? My leather whips and edible panties are safely tucked somewhere and hidden under lock and key. A girl needs her privacy.<br /><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks20BorderDiv6392"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks1BorderDiv7789"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks72BorderDiv7724"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks35BorderDiv4545"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134019767518256962005-12-12T00:34:00.000-05:002005-12-17T00:09:51.076-05:00No Blog Is an Island<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/8166.1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right;" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/8166.1.jpg" border="0" height="268" width="287" /></a><br />I don’t know about you but life as a blogger, as we are painfully finding out, is lonely and frustrating. You do your best to give your readers something interesting to read, hoping you’d get a comment or two that may start an interesting thread of conversation. You hope to touch base with people with similar interests who want to share their ideas with you or maybe become friends with. But . . . sadly this doesn’t happen. Sure, you get comments, but one or two comments a week is just too little! D tells me not to worry about it. He says the important thng is, when we check our site meter, we see that people did drop by to visit our blog. But I really would have wanted to talk, you know? Share an opinion or a cup of coffee, toss an idea or a football, help with something, ANYTHING!<br /><br />But one doesn't always get what one wants. So, whoever you are reading this, let me give you a big hug, a resounding kiss and a warm welcome to our blog! It would really be so much fun to get to know you and maybe visit your blog, too. But if that's not ok, well then, I understand. Just feel free to come back tomorrow and the day after.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134102358058069352005-12-09T12:15:00.000-05:002005-12-09T06:43:43.360-05:00Life's a bitch!<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left;" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/5.jpg" border="0" height="190" width="294" /></a>Do you notice how pet dogs tend to mirror their owners' <a href="http://www.ganns.com/Humor/ILookLikeMyDog/">looks</a>, personality and behavior? It’s uncanny really but it’s true! I used to think it was silly when my brother swore that our neighbor’s large Afghan hound was starting to look like our neighbor Mr. Mathers until one morning when I actually came across them taking their usual morning jog. I swear, they had the same tired facial expression!<br /><br />Weird really, but now I realize this is not only true of dogs and their owners in Canada but in any part of the world! Take for instance my cousin’s toy poodle Toffee. I am currently on vacation in Asia and I’m staying at my cousin’s place. Being a dog lover I have assumed care of her pet dog while she goes to work and does her everyday things. However, she might as well be home because her dog behaves exactly like she does! See, my cousin is the youngest and the only daughter in a male-dominated family. Needless to say her family treats her like a princess. Well, her dog is exactly the same. He cannot eat without being spoonfed (he doesn’t like getting food on his snout), he tiptoes when he is made to walk on the grass (he hates getting mud on his paws) and he will never sleep on the floor unless he has a throw pillow to sleep on.<br /><br />I swear I’m not making this up. It’s definitely true! Which makes me think, and maybe this will be a useful thought to any of you out there are planning to get a pet dog, maybe you should ask yourself the question, “If I were a dog, what dog would I want to be? A cute little bassett hound, perhaps, or maybe a nice friendly golden retriever?” I’m sure if Mr. Mathers knew this beforehand, he wouldn’t have gotten himself that weird looking Afghan hound, but then again, nobody asked that Afghan hound if he wanted to eventually look like Mr. Mathers. Doggone!<br /><br />J<div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks3BorderDiv1554"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks69BorderDiv1081"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks34BorderDiv470"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks2BorderDiv396"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1133590947838836922005-12-08T00:34:00.000-05:002005-12-21T01:03:38.000-05:00Rub It... You Know How to Rub It Don't You?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/caveman_gerg_starting_fire_lg_wm.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/caveman_gerg_starting_fire_lg_wm.jpg" border="0" /></a>My fellow Canuck mishmash wants to know what the hell (his own words) he’s supposed to do when it’s 13 degrees below freezing in Ontario. Well, mishmash, ever heard of the phrase “Mind over matter”?<span style="font-size:0;"> </span>Here’s what you do:<span style="font-size:0;"> </span>Set up 10 or 20 <a href="http://www.beachsidelighting.com/malama.html">gas torches</a> outside your house and hold a luau!<span style="font-size:0;"> </span>Invite everyone. So what if there’s frozen ice everywhere! Just put on your warmest eskimo<a href="http://www.ultimategear.com/eagleloftparka.html"> jacket </a>over your <a href="http://www.ultimategear.com/duofwoolunsu.html">wool union suit</a> and you’re fine! It’s mind over matter, remember? And to make it more authentic, start the fire yourself. Click <a href="http://www.animationfactory.com/animations/people_a_l/cavemen/105a8e/">here</a> to find out how. You can do it! C’mon!<span style="font-size:0;"> </span>Be a man, aye?<p class="MsoNormal"></p>J<br /><div id="Clipmarks86BorderDiv6466" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; width: 0px; position: absolute;"></div><div id="Clipmarks22BorderDiv4884" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; width: 0px; position: absolute;"></div><div id="Clipmarks99BorderDiv2573" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; position: absolute; height: 0px;"></div><div id="Clipmarks48BorderDiv6464" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; position: absolute; height: 0px;"></div><div id="Clipmarks16BorderDiv7866" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; width: 0px; position: absolute;"></div><div id="Clipmarks7BorderDiv9014" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; width: 0px; position: absolute;"></div><div id="Clipmarks92BorderDiv4019" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; position: absolute; height: 0px;"></div><div id="Clipmarks24BorderDiv8777" style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999; position: absolute; height: 0px;"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134019974931625682005-12-08T00:32:00.000-05:002005-12-08T00:47:13.653-05:00For J<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/starsky_t.1.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 223px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 183px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="174" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/starsky_t.jpg" width="181" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center">I</div><div align="center"><br />She walks in beauty, like the night<br />Of cloudless climes and starry skies;<br />And all that's best of dark and bright<br />Meet in her aspect and her eyes:<br />Thus mellow'd to that tender light<br />Which heaven to gaudy day denies.</div><div align="center"><br />II</div><div align="center"><br />One shade the more, one ray the less<br />Had half impair'd the nameless grace<br />Which waves in evey raven tress,<br />Or softly lightens o'er her face;<br />Where thoughts serenely sweet express<br />How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.</div><div align="center"><br />III</div><div align="center"><br />And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,<br />So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,<br />The smiles that win, the tints that glow,<br />But tell of days in goodness spent,<br />A mind at peace with all below,<br />A heart whose love is innocent ! </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1134011091829767602005-12-07T22:03:00.000-05:002005-12-07T22:13:10.116-05:00Seven Eleven and Me<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/1600/slurpee.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/301/1892/320/slurpee.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />D calls me his "little <a href="http://www.slurpee.com/">slurpee</a>." Guess why?<br /><br />J<div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks2BorderDiv9720"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks35BorderDiv9608"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks25BorderDiv3924"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks67BorderDiv4655"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1133587740196196052005-12-07T11:47:00.000-05:002005-12-08T23:34:59.220-05:00**** You Too<p class="MsoNormal"><code><span class="fullpost"></span></code></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="fullpost">Jake the Snake asks in our comments, “Why should I give a **** what you think?” Here's my response: </span></p><span class="fullpost"><p class="MsoNormal"><br />Well, Jake, “We’re just trying to **** ***** like you do a **** job in whatever projects you may have or with ******** personal issues you may **** help with.” (Direct translation: “We’re just trying to help friends like you do a good job in whatever projects you may have or with whatever personal issues you may need help with.” *sweet smile*).</p><p class="MsoNormal">J</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br />P.S. **** you too (Direct translation: “love you too.”)</p><p class="MsoNormal"><code></span></code></p><div id="Clipmarks74BorderDiv6909" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute"></div><div id="Clipmarks51BorderDiv3222" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute; HEIGHT: 0px"></div><div id="Clipmarks74BorderDiv2304" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute; HEIGHT: 0px"></div><div id="Clipmarks16BorderDiv8533" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute"></div><div id="Clipmarks82BorderDiv5978" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute"></div><div id="Clipmarks57BorderDiv7608" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute; HEIGHT: 0px"></div><div id="Clipmarks47BorderDiv4590" style="BORDER-RIGHT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: orange 2px solid; DISPLAY: none; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 99999; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: orange 2px solid; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: orange 2px solid; POSITION: absolute; HEIGHT: 0px"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19168548.post-1133842512486304792005-12-05T23:14:00.000-05:002005-12-16T14:55:37.193-05:00Remember When Romeo and Juliet DiedDear Blogger:<br /><br /> <p class="MsoNormal">Our website was down all day today.<span style=""> </span>That made me sad, very sad.<span style=""> </span>"How sad?", you ask.<span style=""> </span>Well, let me tell you.<span style=""> </span>Remember when ET almost died?<span style=""> </span>Do you remember?<span style=""> </span>How about Old Yeller? Remember when the Big Bad Wolf raped Little Red Riding Hood?<span style=""> </span>Do you remember?<span style=""> </span>Do you remember when Michael Jackson was acquitted?<span style=""> </span>Well, now he is probably molesting little boys in <st1:country-region><st1:place>Bahrain</st1:place></st1:country-region> by giving them “Allah Juice.”<span style=""> </span>Does that make you sad?<span style=""> </span>Well now you know how I felt, Blogger.<br /><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The <st1:place>Middle East</st1:place> process, that makes me sad too.<span style=""> </span>In 1973 <st1:country-region><st1:place>Israel</st1:place></st1:country-region> was almost defeated.<span style=""> </span>Do you care?<span style=""> </span>Were you there?<span style=""> </span>Neither was I, but it still makes me sad.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You know what else makes me sad?<span style=""> </span>The BCS - I know it worked out this year pitting a decisive number one versus a decisive number two, but still, it makes me sad.<span style=""> </span>Luck is not to be rewarded.<span style=""> </span>And this year it was just lucky.<span style=""> </span>Blogger you were not unlucky today because luck has nothing to do with incompetence.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Please don’t let this happen again.<span style=""> </span>I don’t want to be sad again.<span style=""> </span>Remember when Boromir was killed in “Fellowship of the Ring?”<span style=""> </span>That did not make me that sad, but I am sure that you fantasy loving tech geeks who run Blogger were sad and maybe even cried. Now you have an idea how I felt when Bogger was down all day.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So please, for the love of Bambi’s mother who died in a very sad way and for Chrissy whose departure sadly signaled the beginning of the end for “Three’s Company,” please keep Blogger running.<span style=""> </span>Maybe I get what I pay for, or maybe you just like making me sad. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Very truly yours, in all sadness,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">D</p><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks24BorderDiv8645"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks57BorderDiv2313"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks21BorderDiv443"></div><div style="border: 2px solid orange; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: absolute; height: 0px; display: none; z-index: 99999;" id="Clipmarks35BorderDiv3908"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1