The Superficial Continued: Two MORE cents on Brad, Jennifer and Angelina

As a follow-up to D’s post below, let me state that I think it’s insensitive for a man to flaunt his new relationship just a few months after he breaks up with his wife. That SIXTY page spread in ‘W’ Magazine was totally crass. It’s all about respect. People don’t always have to agree, they just have to respect one another.

Brad Pitt is entitled to leave Jennifer if he chooses and maybe Jennifer was wrong in prioritizing her career over children, but was that really enough reason for Brad to completely abandon her? Didn’t she see him through the times he himself was still trying to establish himself as a serious actor and after Gwyneth Paltrow had unceremoniously dumped him?

But more to the point, Angelina Jolie is a world-class beauty and indeed one of the sexiest women in the planet. But I personally believe that the fact she’s into children and foreign adoption much like Mia Farrow was in the 70s has very little to do with Brad Pitt being so smitten with her. I think it’s part of the package. As Angelina herself has said in several interviews, “The next man I fall in love with must understand what I’m into and must share the same beliefs I have.” She has also stated that she is not necessarily a “one-woman” man and that she enjoys multiple partners including women – not exactly the confession of someone soon to be domesticated and faithful.

Brad has long professed to be a family-centric man who is keenly interested in a simple, family oriented life. Yet here he is sacrificing that very thing to follow Angelina around the world. So, in my opinion, it could be poisonous snakes or deadly piranhas, whatever! If adopting her foreign kids (mind you, these are not her biological offspring) is what it takes, then so be it! With a face and body like that I’m sure any hot-blooded man would be out there risking life and limb to get on her good side. Sure, Brad Pitt is not chopped liver himself but c’mon, everybody knows who’s calling the shots in this relationship. He tags along wherever she goes and does what she does. Do you need a better picture?

I am not faulting Brad for wanting to start a family although, honestly 40 is not old by any standards (Michael Douglas at 106 or something like that just had a baby, remember?) What is disappointing to me is his lack of sensitivity in showing off his new relationship. Maybe it goes with his job, the fact that his life is so open to everyone’s scrutiny, but bottom line is, we are all humans living in a society of fellow humans. What distinguishes us from the animal kingdom is we respect one another’s feelings, especially those of people who once meant something to us.

As I said before, he in entitled, to leave, but he didn’t need to do it so insensitively.

J

Making the Superficial Substantive: Two Cents on Brad, Jennifer and Angelina

J and I were discussing the Jennifer Aniston – Brad Pitt breakup. Yes, occasionally we wade (neck deep) into the superficial. She sided with Jennifer Aniston, citing Pitt’s apparent overbearing insensitivity to their current situation – the almost flaunting of his current relationship with Angelina Jolie. She pontificated that anyone who could be this seemingly overtly insensitive was certainly capable of similarly “unloving” behavior during their marriage.

I respectfully disagree. I think that – despite protestations to the contrary – the breakup was more the result of Jennifer’s reneging on her commitment to have children. Yes, Angelina may be the sexiest woman on the planet, but it is probably not a coincidence that she is also someone that has warmly embraced children into her life. And we have all seen the pictures of Brad lovingly playing with and caring for Angelina’s children and his subsequent legal adoption of those children. And now there are incessant rumors that she is already pregnant with his child.

So my friends, was Brad wrong to leave his wife? He is forty years old and has long admitted his desire to start a family. Jennifer may have made a choice: an acting career over a family and past promises to her husband. If that is the case, she is not a victim to Brad’s “insensitivity.” He is in fact victim to her selfishness and unfulfilled promises.

D

Mommy Dearest

Dear J & D,

My mother calls me pet names in public. I'm her 'little dinky doo.' That was fine when I was a child, but now I am 26. How I do get her to stop this without hurting her feelings?

Thank you,

Too Old for Pet Names


Dear Too Old for Pet Names,

I know how embarrassing that is especially when you’re in a busy supermarket, lining up at the cash register and your mom turns to you and says, “Did you get the cheese, dinky doo?”

There’s something sweet about parents not realizing their kids are grown up. I’ve learned to just ignore it. Even D doesn’t mind being called his mom’s ‘love muffin.’ However, because you seem to feel strongly about this, let me give you 3 suggestions on how to deal with dear old mom.

When she starts calling you pet names, turn to her and in the same tone of voice start calling her 'momsie', 'momoo', 'mommykins', 'momsie poo' or whatever sickeningly saccharine pet names you can come up with! One of three things will result from this: 1) she can enjoy it; 2) she can get embarrassed and finally get your point; OR 3) the two of you can totally freak out all the other shoppers and get arrested in a public scandal which will land you on the Jerry Springer show and get you 15 minutes of fame, you Paris Hilton-wanna-be.

Another tact would be to sit dear old mom down in her favorite armchair, look her straight in the eyes, and tell her, even beg her if you have to, to please, please, please stop calling you pet names in public because it’s embarrassing the hell out of you! After the initial shock, what you’re saying will slowly sink in and again, one of three things will happen: 1) she can agree; 2) she can give you the cold shoulder; OR 3) she can call up her lawyer and cut your ungrateful ass off and remove you from her will. After all, she carried you for 9 months, and giving birth to someone with a head the size of a watermelon was not a freaking picnic. For god sakes, she was in labor for 2 ½ days. And thanks to you her breasts now look like tennis balls in plastic bags. Considering this, being called her 'little foofoo' is a bargain.

And of course the third thing you can do, and I highly recommend this, is to just smile and ignore it when dear old mom starts calling you 'dinky doo' or 'babesy whoo'. It’s her pet name for you and it should make you happy that she loves you enough to give you a pet name. No need to be embarrassed by it! Unless of course the names she calls you are something like 'stinky toes', 'tub-o-lard-o', 'my little “accident”', 'abortion-shoulda-had', or 'don’t know who your daddy is.'

So what’s our advice to you? Don’t sweat it! Let things be. If it makes dear old momsie happy to call you pet names in public, then let her! Just go shopping with her and charge everything to her credit card! That’s what 'little dinky doos' do anyway.

J & D

Doing the J-aywalk J-iggy!

I just returned from blog-hopping to some of my favorite sites. Les Becker’s post on how she managed to get away with jaywalking immediately reminded me of another funny encounter I’ve had with the nice people in this little tiny Asian country I am currently having an extended holiday in.

Jaywalking. Yes, it had to do with jaywalking. I remember waiting for my cousin in her parked car and watching this young man getting arrested for jaywalking. The irate policeman (All policemen in this country seem irate. It must be the humid weather.) was giving the young man a piece of his mind, yelling and screaming at him about how he should have read the sign that said ‘No jaywalking’ and going on and on about how this country would be a better place if people just learned to follow basic rules of discipline. He then goes on to present to the poor guy his options. One, he can opt to pay the fine of P100 or, and this is the interesting part, he can go scot-free provided he stands in the corner and sings the national anthem for all pedestrians to hear. Unfazed and even a little glad that he had a way out of paying the steep fine, he chose the latter but requested that he be allowed to choose his own song. Since it was Christmas and people were generally in a good mood, the policeman agreed and the young man proceeded to take his place near the busy intersection.

In less than a second, without need for any prompting from the policeman, the young man starts gyrating ala Ricky Martin (Menudo is big in this part of Asia) and starts belting out (like someone having a root canal) his very own weird version of “Living La Vida Loca” complete with his own lyrics! Everyone, including myself sitting quietly inside my cousin’s car, is startled by the sudden onslaught of this man’s singing! By the time my cousin returned to her car, a slight commotion had erupted and an amused crowd had gathered round this Ricky Martin clone, laughing and clapping along with him while the enraged policeman kept blowing his whistle demanding that he stop this racket immediately!

Speaking in their native tongue, I couldn’t get what the policeman was saying so I asked my cousin and she told me, he was screaming swear words and saying stuff like “I’m gonna throw you in jail if you don’t stop this instant,” and “Stop or I’ll shoot you! You’re worse than a terrorist with that voice of yours!”

Well, the young man did stop, but only after he had completed the song. He even took a bow and blew kisses while people applauded in jest! And the traffic policeman? He was as red as a tomato and fuming mad. But it was Christmas so he let him go but not without a warning. As loosely translated by my cousin, he told the young man, “NEVER PASS BY THIS STREET AGAIN OR I’LL DOUBLE YOUR FINE AND THROW YOU IN JAIL WHETHER OR NOT YOU VIOLATE A TRAFFIC RULE!”

Well, that should teach "him" a lesson! But who, the cop or the reprobate? In this case, I’m not exactly sure. Like I said before, life in these islands is always interesting.

J

You Should Really Be Yelling at J

Dear D,

Where are you? You and J built up a nice little blog, and then like a moron you stopped writing and saw your readership drop off. Is it fair that you left J to do all the work? What kind of man are you anyway?

Antoinette


Dear Antoinette:

Are you French? Antoinette is a French name. Just like the French to always start trouble yet offer no solution to the problem. I was traveling in San Diego. See the picture of the panda? I took that (with a camera.)

Is it really necessary to call me a moron? I am saddened by the (temporary) decline in readership, but people do get busy during the holidays. I bet you traveled to France too more easily make fun of Americans and eat cheese? When you eat cheese do you rest it on your big French belly like the panda with his tasty leaves and shoots?

You ask if I am a man. I never claimed to be a man. But J thinks I am a man. Know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Anyway, it’s good to be back and J & I promise to be more diligent with the posting. By the way, why didn’t J post more? You should be yelling at her.

Happy Holidays,

D

If you blog 'em they will come!

We’re back! Sorry for the long silence. Just got caught up in the holidays and couldn’t find the time to sit down and write. But we’re back now and, hopefully, we haven’t completely lost the friends who come to visit us every now and then. Gosh, I never knew it was this demanding to maintain a blog….but it’s fun though and I’d never give up on it no matter how busy things may get.

So how is everyone? I’m trying to entertain myself here cause D is still away on a holiday somewhere and I was specifically tasked to make sure that things go along smoothly on our blog. Too bad I can’t add a chatroom window on here. Wouldn’t it be great if I could chat directly with our buddies who drop by? I’m sure Les would be fun to chat with. Loulou would be hilarious and Mr. Dinkle? Well, he’d be like Confucius giving out words of wisdom, I’m sure. Oh well, but this is a blog, not a paid website as D would remind me every now and then. It just seems so lonely sometimes without anyone to chat with!

Speaking of D, I wonder if he’s gone to see King Kong already. He likes monkeys (hopefully that’s why he calls me his monkeybutt), but I don’t. They remind me too much of humans (not that I hate humans being one myself). Besides it seems not a lot of people are excited to see this film anyway. Or am I wrong? You know what I think it is? I think most people have had enough of movies that boast of nothing but special effects. I think TV has over-discussed what goes on with these special effects thus taking away the mystery and fun of it all. It was quite exciting with Godzilla, Star Wars, even Forrest Gump. But now everyone knows about the blue screen, the hydrolics, the prosthesis. Sometimes when you discuss a thing too much, it loses its luster. Imagine if David Copperfield discussed on TV how he does his magic, then no one would go watch his performances anymore, right?

For those who are big King Kong fans, don’t mind me. I’m just rambling on. Truth is, I’m so excited to be back I don’t exactly know what to talk about. But I’ll get to it. Meanwhile, let me, on behalf of my sweetie D, greet you all a happy new year. And to those who left comments on my Christmas song post (thank God they were mostly nice…see what Christmas can do to people?) thank you, thank you so much for your kind words! Good thing Simon Cowell is not a blogger. Don’t worry, folks, I’m not about to record another song. Why not? Cause I plan to leave that Christmas song posted on here the entire year! JOKING! Oh well, guess this post has to end without me actually talking about anything. That’s okay since anyway all I really wanted to say was: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

J

A Holiday Song By J for You

Happy holidays to all our wonderful visitors! May the new year bring peace, joy and prosperity to all.