Monday, January 16, 2006

2005 — The Year of Famous Breakups

The year 2005 has come and gone and, sad to say, so has the husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover of many a famous Hollywood celebrity. While we are not exactly aiming to make our blog The Blog of Lists (Get it? As in Book of Lists, the bestselling compilation of odd facts and trivial information released some years back? You don’t? Ok, never mind), I have decided to go on with what D had started in his last post listing Hollywood actors/actresses arrested the past year. This time, however, I am listing the Hollywood couples who, for some reason or another have decided to ‘uncouple’ the past year.

The reason I chose this list is, well, in a small measure because, as a woman, I sympathize with any poor soul who has to go through the pain and loneliness of a break-up. But in most part, I chose this list because, as a woman, gossip about well-known personalities simply intrigues me! He-he-he.

If my list is not complete, well maybe whoever is not included is not that popular anyway. In which case, it would be a good thing not to publicize their breakups. That way, if they decide to get back together, no sweat! Nobody knew they were together in the first place, right?

So here goes, drum roll, please. . . . The Hollywood couples who split-up in 2005 are:

* Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston — Talk about starting the year with a bang, they announced their split-up on Jan 8 after 5 years of marriage. Brad parries rumors of a relationship with Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star Angelina Jolie. Jennifer keeps silent but suddenly decides to help Vanity Fair sell an issue by giving a no-holds-barred interview in September and then KAPOW! By October 5, their divorce becomes final.

* Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards — 7-month pregnant Richards kicks out her husband Charlie and files a divorce in March citing irreconcilable differences as the reason. Why she chose to marry this guy who is known to have such a taste for prostitutes is beyond me. And to think she is pregnant with their second child! Oh well.

* Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey — Just a few days before Thanksgiving this 3-year-old MTV couple decided to call it quits after some “careful thought and consideration.” Wonder who took charge of the thinking and who did the considering?

* Renee Zellweger & Kenny Chesney — The Bridget Jones Diary star decided 5 months was too long to stay married to her country singer husband and in Sept filed an annulment citing “fraud” as the reason. Then she issued a statement asking people to refrain"from drawing derogatory, hurtful, sensationalized or untrue conclusions" about her ex. Duh!

* Eddie Murphy & Nicole Murphy — Married since 1993, this couple divorced in July stating they were concerned about the welfare of their five children. Hmm. Or maybe it was Eddie's alleged concern for transvestites, whatever.

* Katie Holmes & Chris Klein — This Katie is one busy miss! After breaking off her engagement with Klein in March, she is again engaged in June to Tom Cruise and by August is pregnant with his child! Now that’s a girl who doesn’t waste any time. But then again for an alleged seven figures, I'd marry Tom and pretend to have his baby too.

* Jude Law & Sienna Miller — Their engagement went pfffft when a British tabloid published a story in July about Jude’s affair with his kids’ nanny. Almost immediately, he issued a public apology to Miller for his ‘indiscretion.’ What a wanker!

* Chad Michael Murray & Sophia Bush — Now, here’s another one of those less-than-six-month marriages. These One Tree Hill co-stars split in September, just five months after they got married. Guess no one warned these kids about marrying your co-star. Next season, you could be paired off with another actor/actress. What then, huh?

* Paris Hilton & Paris Latsis — In September, Paris the rich girl called off her engagement to Paris the rich boy saying she wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Well, no one really believed this union would last anyway. Paris, Paris, c’mon! Maybe Tokyo, Tokyo or New York, New York. (Did I really say that?)

* Leonardo DiCaprio & Gisele Bundchen — Hollywood heartthrob Leo was dumped by this sexy catwalk beauty after a tempestuous 4-year relationship for one important reason – his excessive partying and flirting with his and other actors’ ex-girlfriends.

* Nicole Richie & Adam "D.J. AM" Goldstein — Mutually agreed to call off their nine-month engagement without citing any reasons. Who knows with these young couples. Some say it had to do with AM eating too much and Nicole hardly eating at all.

* Mischa Barton & Brandon Davis — The O.C. star has decided to end her one-year relationship with the billionaire heir as early as February last year. Wonder how it feels like to dump a billionaire boyfriend?

* Valerie Bertinelli & Eddie Van Halen — Now, this is really sad. After 24 years of being married and bringing up a son together, Touched By An Angel actress Valerie Bertinelli and her alcoholic-rocker husband Eddie Van Halen are calling it quits. Maybe now she is touched by boredom! Ho-hum.

* Shannon Elizabeth & Joseph Reitman Shannon filed for divorce from Joseph citing irreconcilable differences. I would say something humorous but I can't compete with the incomparable Protein Wisdom.

* Jenny McCarthy & John Asher Fomer playmate of the year and perenially struggling actress Jenny filed for divorce from her director husband citing irreconcilable differences. Rumor has it John was fed up with Jenny's penchant for appearing nude in movies. What husband wouldn't want his wife bearing it all for every horny teenager and the rest of the world to see?

* Tori Spelling & Charlie Shanian — Former Beverly Hills, 90210 star Tori Spelling has split from her actor-writer husband Charlie Shanian after 15 months of marriage. 15 months or 50 years, I’m sure it hurts just the same!

* Christina Applegate & Johnathon Schaech — Just before Christmas, Christina Applegate and her husband, Johnathon Schaech, called it quits after four years of marriage. Their publicists said it was a mutual decision. Sure, sure!

* Jamie Lynn DiScala & A.J. DiScala — Sopranos daughter Jamie-Lynn DiScala and her husband-manager, A.J. DiScala, have split up after two years of marriage. But there’s a hopeful note, A.J. DiScala claims it’s “just a separation and anything is possible including a reconciliation.” We hope his wife feels the same way.

* Gabrielle Union & Chris Howard — The sexy star of Bad Boys II decided to call it quits with her husband of 4 ½ years last November. They have no children and no new movies to speak about. So why are they in my list? @##$

Enough of these split-ups! It’s a new year. Stay connected, okay!

J

3 comments:

Karla said...

Your blog is funny. I love hollywood gossip especially when it is given with a dose of humor and truth.

KoolK said...

Great post! LOL

Melody said...

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